I’ve been interested in feminism all my life; my mother was a teacher and talked about how she would go on political marches and feminism rallies in her youth. She showed an interest in women’s rights and chose not to wear a bra at one point in her life; this made me and my sister giggle when we were children.
From a young age, my peers told me that I should grow up and have children. The thought of you not having them was not something people would talk about. In the 1980s, women started to find themselves and found some confidence. That meant having some independence and choosing the types of employment they wanted to do, rather than just doing the three Cs. (Cooking, Cleaning and Caring).
I can remember not wanting to do the three C’s from an early age but not knowing how to get a job that wasn’t this. I had no one I could talk too, and the internet wasn’t around in those days.
The changing point
Back then, I had very low esteem, and it was crippling and stopped me from doing most things in life – such as socialising. A light bulb moment came to me when I came across a lady from Manchester who talked confidently and didn’t do the usual things girls do – such as gossiping.
I decided I wanted to be a woman like her, that had self-confidence and intelligence. I started to take an interest in learning and reading and aimed for the stars. I decided if I wanted to be a particular type of person, all I needed to do, was to act this way repeatedly, and at some point, I would become that person.
That meant I had to treat everyone how I would like to get treated myself. I also decided not to lie and always kept myself away from people who put me down. It also meant the type of employment I should go for needed to fulfil me and make me feel good about myself.
Some men are very shallow and presume ‘all’ women want in life is to find a partner and have children. That’s not true, yes I wanted children, but I also wanted to be a woman my children could admire.
Back then, I could see there was a strong view of how a mother should look like. If they couldn’t keep slim, maintain a pleasant appearance with nice hair, nails and clothes. They were looked at as failers and would be pushed to the side socially.
Surely there must be a way of getting women to spend money but not wholely on their image, as it seems to be the most important thing. The media shouldn’t support and nurture this so much and focus on sports more (maybe). It must be heartbreaking when your partner goes off you because you don’t look like all the media pictures.
Overview of a females life
Having a partner and children is just one aspect of a woman’s life; this seems to work for some women who are happy working in the care/cooking/cleaning sectors and being housewives. But not all women are like this, and they shouldn’t feel forced into doing something they don’t want to do. This is the same for a man too, but that’s another story.
So for those women who want something different, what are their options? It’s very minimal, unless they have wealth and support, to become professional or further their university education. Otherwise, you’re pretty much forced into the three Cs or getting yourself into debt to pay for a university degree. In particular, poor women who want babies early in their lives will need a husband who earns enough to let them find a career she will enjoy.
The choices women have in a capitalist society.
I don’t think capitalism works for women full stop. As far as I can see, women are the same as men; they have dreams and aspirations and want to live a life fully and have children.
All I can see is that feminism in a capitalist world only works for rich women. It works as she pays to get a life that she wants that involves children, independence and a career.
There’s no feminism for poor women, as her life option is a career that involves the three Cs and doing the known paid work at home, such as shopping cleaning. In the new feminist world that we apparently live in, women can now work, but what type of work is she offered?
I’m not saying its any better for poor men, as they have long hours too, and little pay but in general, the women will be the one who sorts, whats going on in the home and manages it.
I’m also not saying that it’s as bad as when the suffragettes had to fight for their rights, but I think there is a still long way to go. The problem shouldn’t be looked at as a women’s problem as the problem affects men too. This problem affects men when it comes to what they get paid as a wage. Basically, the suffragettes fought to have some rights and to be able to work and earn a wage. But al of a sudden as women were going out to earn a wage. Paying bills and buying food and so on went up in price, which means nowadays women don’t have a choice but to work as the ‘poor’ man cannot afford to pay for all that life demands from him. So in effect, the man is now earning less than he did many years ago as a woman could stay at home, but now she cannot.
So do I think feminism is a good thing?
Yes, as its helping women’s self-esteem, as there’s still a stigma in what people think women and men should do in their lives. David Attenborough once said, ‘if women worldwide could do what they wanted, with their own bodies, without being told to marry and have children. There would be fewer people on the planet, which would lead to a better world and environment’.
So how does this move forward to something more positive?
A woman can have everything if she has a good education and earns money that pays for nursing, cleaning, etc. That’s the direction we are giving our kids, which is pretty much false hope. This hope for many women is just a dream and won’t happen for a lot of them.
‘Feminism’ shouldn’t just be one option; feminism should be about women getting the support and help they need to live a rich and fore-filling life and raise children.
Karl Marx refers to women and their labour and suggests that the state pays for child support, similar to the NHS. I think there’s something good in that idea as it should be the countries responsibility to bring up children that are well-rounded individuals.