I created this initially as I was going through a ‘blip’ in the direction of my art. I thought I would do a pink girlie piece for some well off teenager in Cheshire. I thought of stopping doing art for myself and started to think commercially.

As I sat down to start this mission, my direction changed, and I couldn’t do what I had set out to do; becoming commercial was pushed to the side. I couldn’t do it.

The pink girlie style was a subject I could work on and tackle some anxieties. Such as: what’s it like to be a woman in the UK. With its pressures placed on us from an early age. Such as conform, look pretty, be kind, have a family and care for others.

I needed to do art to get out of me my deep anxieties, and bizarrely by choosing a pink girlie style that I had thrown onto a canvas in anger. I could see an outlet to express some painful feelings. This pressure almost limits you from finding out who you could fully be as a person.

The black beads and cotton express how I can not do what I’m asked to do. Partly due to ill health, partly from lack of family support, and partly because. It’s a subversive and subtle way of saying fuck you.