This piece is very complex and is about dozens of subjects. I am looking at it a few months after completing it with a fresh perspective. As at the time, I moved away from my comfort zone dramatically, compared to my previous pieces before.
For a good few years, my previous pieces had the same trail of thought, where I had a simple shape on top of a chaotic, messy background.
This style referred to my interest in the Buddhist religion (please read my previous blog posts to understand more about the subject)
The dramatic change you will see with this current piece. I think, is very fitting and explains very well. What happens to a person if they don’t, like their lives, in a simple way. As in ‘ it turns to chaos’.
I feel it holds ‘respect’ towards the philosophy of Buddhism and, in a way, shows beautifully (hopefully) chaos and how it unfolds.
To give you some greater understanding of what was going on in my life when creating this painting.
I had just come out of a hospital, and this new artwork I was beginning to create. Was it a moment of clarity where I started to think about a new chapter in my life? I had decided to move into an art studio and go freelance in my full-time work. But to also to concentrate more, on becoming more professional, in my art.
I have sometimes found ‘Praxis’ comes into play with my artwork. I planned to create a more commercial piece that could potentially attract a buyer. But praxis had another plan!
I had always made my art for myself and didn’t care if people liked it or not. So the plan of thinking in a commercial was complicated for me.
When starting to create this piece, I guess I felt a little defeated and felt like I was letting myself down, but I just got on with it and forced myself to ‘man up.
I suppose what I’m trying to say is that I failed with this aim. The result wasn’t commercial at all. I’m pleased I failed! As I sneakily feel like I was being true to myself and creating art for me, not anyone else.
What’s this art piece all about
The subject I chose of the lady was me looking through my sketchbooks and selecting a sketch. I thought at the time, it was very pretty looking and feminine and also fashionable. I was aiming to sell the canvas to possibly a wealthy teenager. I was hoping the buyer would admire the colours and the uniqueness of the piece. I intended to add beautiful unicorn colours and start from there.
As I progressed with the piece and experimented with beads and different texture. I found myself (as always) when I try to do commercial work, becoming bored and felt somewhat controlled.
I ended up being my usual self and rebelling against the whole act. I started thinking very subversive and gently moved the artwork into something a bit edgier by added a dramatic black to the soft pink colour using bead and cotton.
I was fooling myself that doing this wouldn’t damage the commercial feel to the piece or and potentially make it left desirable to buy. Honestly, I didn’t care as I was enjoying myself being naughty.
As time went on, this piece took a year to do. I found myself getting closer and closer to the whole process. The aim of making it commercial wasn’t sitting right with me. I found myself hating that women seem to have to make themselves pretty and kind for men to like them and respect them.
The whole thing of the colour pink, being a women’s colour, started to rub me up the wrong way. This disillusionment was expressed by me making the artwork edgy and punk-like.
I had entered a whole new concept without even knowing. Praxis at play came into play. How I got there, I did know! The artwork has a pessimistic feel to it, with the girls face not smiling and the uneven writing, saying ‘Family’ – but half-heartedly.
The whole subject of women and the role of having children and the entire family unit. It made me act with contempt and distaste. Maybe it was me ‘once again’ getting rid of those dreadful feelings from my past, or perhaps it’s me coming to terms with not having had any children.
For the first time, the word ‘juxtaposition’ came into my mind while working on this piece. On the one hand, the painting is very feminine and happy. But on the other hand, it’s angry and has unrest.
I think this is like a lot of people, currently, in the capitalist world. We’re split into two, or even three people—one personality for work, one for home, and one for personal. In an almost departmental way, in our minds but also how we layout our towns and cities.